Sock War!
Socks: who is actually responsible for making socks fit comfortably around the human foot? And how is it possible for some socks to be a joy to put on, and other socks to be a total nightmare? I can see how the man or indeed woman on the street, having stumbled across this article, might think ‘this is ridiculous, what problem have I ever had with socks? What is this guy on about?’ But I ask you to have patience. Because, statistically speaking, badly, carelessly produced footwear causes the fall of small business, people and large corporations every year. Think the Vietnam war was started over a misunderstanding? I am willing to be that somewhere along the line someone tried to put some socks on, got in a rage, and thought ‘you know what? I am sick of socks and to vent my rage I am going to go to war! It’s a proven way of venting aggression!’
OK, the Vietnam war was made up of bigger issues (and I may have taken sock-liberty by suggesting the above statement). But many other things really were sock-afflicted. And what is it specifically about the socks which does it? That’s easy. Imagine getting out of bed and stubbing your toe / treading on lego / smacking your head against a wall etc. Now imagine you reach for your socks and, instead of getting your favourite pair, you pick up the socks you hate but don’t dare throw out because it just seems criminal. And you try to push them on. Doing this standing-up is too much to reasonably handle at 7am, so you sit down. But the stress induced by the terrible anti-foot inner of the socks prevents this from happening easily. The more you pull, the more the blood beats in your forehead! Be aware, people, that socks lie at the heart of any debate or argument. The sooner we learn to deal with this, the sooner we can make the world a better place and the sooner my saucony running shoes will actually feel right again!
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